Iyow - in your own words

The current presidential election is on OpenSecrets.org, this election has already surpassed the entire 2004 presidential cycle in total money raised—$895 million compared to $864 million. And we’re just getting started.

Barack Obama has raised a whopping $235 million to date. Hillary Clinton has pulled in $189 million and Republican John McCain has surged to nearly $100 million since becoming the nominee. The vast majority of these contributions have come from individuals like you and me. And so, my question for those thousands of generous and passionate donors out there is this: Which part of the election have you liked best so far?

Was it the fact that the Democratic primary gave us our first televised debate in history that treated name calling and character assassination as virtually the only worthy topic of conversation? Maybe it was Hillary Clinton’s revival of the infamous Southern Strategy, relying on not-so-veiled appeals to racial prejudice to win. Or maybe it was the spectacle of an Obama adviser whispering in the ear of a concerned Canadian official something to the effect of, “Don’t worry about the anti-NAFTA rhetoric. That’s just the stuff we have to say to win elections.” Or maybe it’s McCain’s public delousing to remove evangelists that somehow got embedded in the skin of his campaign, including Texan John Hagee, author of the notion that God sent Hitler to help the Jews reach the promise land.

WASHINGTON – Super secret satellite photos taken in September of this year reveal greatly increased activity at the Putin Soul Simulator site in Northern Siberia, Pentagon sources revealed today.

The news comes after repeated claims by Kremlin spokesmen that Russia is abiding by the new anti-soul-simulator proliferation treaty signed last year in Chennai, India.

“Obviously, we now have to view those Russian statements with a high degree of skepticism,” said U.S. Air Force Captain Rick Pego. “At about 0600 on the date in question, that place was lit up like a friggin’ Christmas tree.”